NEW LESSON: FALL 2006

Attitude makes a difference.  The more confidence and acceptance you put into the world, the more positively people will respond to you.

Have you ever heard the expression, “Attitude is everything?”  We want you to consider this idea in terms of how you relate to others in your world.  Diet survivors frequently talk about dieting, the wish for weight loss, and negative feelings about their bodies.  These behaviors are so common in our culture that they have become the way that millions of people relate to each other.  “I was bad today,” or “I feel fat,” are phrases that may be heard in any office lunch room or among friends getting together.  Think about what is communicated by these words.

When you complain about your body size or eating habits, you are telling people that there is something wrong with you.  This creates the impression that you are unhappy and feel poorly about yourself.  It interferes with an image of you as a more confident and happy person.

You may be thinking that, in fact, you do feel badly about yourself.  We certainly encourage you to be aware of your feelings and to find safe places to talk about them.  However, it is different to sit with a close friend and discuss your issues of low-self esteem and body image than it is to make frequent, negative comments about your weight in a more public way.

One diet survivor related the story of an interaction with her boyfriend.  She often told him that she felt too fat, but on a particular evening, she felt more accepting of herself and therefore did not make her usual self-deprecating remarks.  He noticed her new attitude and told her that he found her sexier when she wasn’t putting herself down.  He was attracted to her fuller body, and her frequent self-criticism detracted from his positive feelings.

As you think about what you convey to others, remember that it is okay to feel good about yourself no matter what your size.  You do not have to feel ashamed, or apologize for yourself, just because you are not as thin as you would like to be.  Many diet survivors have the experience of people coming up to them and saying, “Have you lost weight? You look great?”  Often what is being noticed is that they are feeling better about themselves.  They haven’t necessarily lost weight, but through the processes of attuned eating and working on acceptance, they truly feel better.  That’s what is being noticed by others.  It is interesting that most people think that if you look like you are feeling better, you must have lost weight!  The truth is attitude is everything.  What you communicate to the world is what will be reflected back to you.  If you allow yourself to live with confidence, people will notice that something positive is happening for you.  You can move through the world with attitude at any size!

Activity:  Give me a little attitude!

Pick one day to try a new attitude.  Consider moving through a 24-hour period with an attitude of self and size acceptance.  This means that you will dress in a way that speaks of your acceptance, talk and work with others in this manner, and eat and move in a way that conveys this positive attitude. 

Make sure you stay mindful of your intention as you try this experiment.  Are you out to lunch with a friend and all of a sudden you find yourself lamenting about how much you ate?  Stop!  Remember, today is for moving through the world without apology and with some attitude!

The following day, reflect on these questions:

Did anything surprise you yesterday as you practiced this new attitude?  If yes, can you put it into words?

Were there times when you noticed yourself lamenting about your body, food, or weight and you stopped yourself?

How can you practice this attitude more in the future?

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.
-William James