NEW LESSON: SUMMER 2008

Learn to acknowledge the positive changes you experience as a diet survivor.  Weight is not the only indicator to let you know that you are improving your physical and psychological well-being.

Every diet plan counts on weight loss to indicate success. While we understand that this is precisely what you would like to see happen, the markers of progress as a diet survivor include factors other than weight loss.  Because these signs are less visible, your friends and family may not understand the important changes that you are making in your life.  This can feel discouraging when you are working so hard.

Think about what is going well for you as you normalize your relationship with food and your body.  Do you have more occasions when you eat out of physical hunger than in the past?  Do you find that you can eat a food that used to trigger overeating and now stop when you feel satisfied?  Do you notice that you rarely get stuffed anymore?  Do you have times where you are hungry and eat exactly what you are hungry for?

These changes are extremely important and indicate that you are on your way to becoming in charge of your eating.  Make sure that you value the significance of these behaviors.  After years of dieting and overeating, you are moving closer to ending your preoccupation with food and becoming an attuned eater.  You are ending the cycle of yo-yo dieting, along with all of its harmful effects.  These are wonderful steps toward achieving physical and psychological well-being.  You should feel proud of yourself.  So should your friends, family, and co-workers.

The problem is that the people in your life are equally as susceptible to all of the messages about thinness and dieting as you have been.  There is a good chance that over the years, you have complained about your weight and even asked them to help you monitor what you ate. They may be unfamiliar with research regarding health, fitness, genetics, and weight.  They may be struggling with their own food and weight issues.  All of these factors mean that they may not understand what you are trying to do and may not recognize your successes.

As you make your way through this process, keep in mind a couple of ideas.  First, as good as the compliments felt when you lost weight, they paled in comparison to the shame you experienced when the weight returned.  If you find yourself feeling bad when someone else you know is losing weight and getting attention, remember that every diet works in the short run but almost always fails long-term.  So, give yourself a pat on the back for choosing to get off the unhealthy diet rollercoaster.

Next, think about the idea of educating important people in your life about what you are doing.  Just like it is taking time for you to understand and integrate these ideas, it will probably take others some time to appreciate what you are doing. Try to identify at least one relationship where another person can understand and reinforce the important changes that are taking place for you.

Another way to get validation for your decisions to let go of dieting and take charge of your eating is through the numerous books now available that teach non-diet and size acceptance concepts.  These books will reinforce the changes you are making that are not necessarily visible to those around you, but are more significant and permanent than any number on the scale.

The bottom line is that you need to be able to recognize the importance and value of the positive changes you are making in a culture that chooses to cling to weight as the best indicator of physical and mental well-being. The changes you make on the inside may not be visible to those around you, but they are extremely worthwhile.

Activity: Getting the Validation You Deserve

Write down three positive experiences you’ve had during this process.

1)______________________________________

2)______________________________________

3)______________________________________

Who would you like to share these experiences with (at least one person).

1)______________________________________

2)______________________________________

3)______________________________________

How would you like them to respond?

Plan B:  If you did not get a response that met your needs, try to identify another person or a book that will validate and reinforce your efforts.

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments.  Share your achievements with others.  Brag a little.  The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.

-Rosemarie Rossetti